I wish I was a cool Greek guy,
a cool Greek guy that everyone thought was really cool
The kind of cool Greek guy that everyone loves,
even the Aussies, and even my mum
A cool Greek guy that can say whatever he likes
and people still think he’s really cool
even when he’s talking a whole lot of fluff,
and uninspiring stuff
I’d get invited to all the really cool parties and events,
because everyone loves me and wants me around
I want to be a cool Greek guy who is always right
And he knows it
And everyone around him knows it
I’m not talking about the kind of Greek guy
who would find this poem funny
I’m talking about the kind of cool Greek guy
that would get into a huff about this poem
and be like ‘hey, she’s out of hand,
that chick need to be put in her place’ kind of cool Greek guy
I‘d rather be a cool Greek guy
than a shouty inappropriate Greek girl
the kind that doesn’t say what she’s expected to say
doesn’t act like she’s supposed to act
not only in the Greek community,
but to everyone, out there, in Australian society
and people think she’s a rezili
I’m talking about the kind of shouty Greek girl
that doesn’t take the hand of the cool Greek guy
and run off into the sunset with him
to make souvlaki, baglava, koubes,
or other Greek foods for the rest of her life
to offer them to the Aussies to win them over
I wish I was the kind of cool Greek guy that
from time to time got slightly intimated by the shouty Greek girl
and had the power to put her in her place
in a very subtle way under the guise of care and coolness
But finally, I wish I was a cool Greek guy
who had never suffered any kind of repression
and instead had his sister making sandwiches for him
as he watched TV with his feet up